STIs: Anyone Can Get Them - By: Kim L.

I first heard about STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) in my Grade 9 health class. At that time they were called STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Why the change? Well, STI is believed to be a more politically correct term since the word disease can have negative connotations or social stigmas attached. Plus, when people think of diseases, they think of something you get and have forever but many STIs are curable therefore the term infection is more accurate. In my opinion changing disease to infection did not breakdown the stigmas attached to STIs.

When I was introduced to the topic in Grade 9 I was taught how to prevent getting them: use protection, abstinence, and avoid sleeping with a lot of people. So, as a result, I associated STIs with people who were irresponsible and promiscuous (slutty). My opinion changed however, when I, myself, was faced with an STI.

I met someone, dare I say ‘special’ and willingly engaged in sexual intercourse with this person. We did practice ‘safe’ sex by using a condom. A couple of days later, however, I spiked a fever and I noticed a cut in my vaginal region that was not there before. Worried, I went to the doctors and the doctor said that I was okay and that I had a yeast infection which was causing my skin to be dry which was in turn, the cause of these sores. Having never had a yeast infection, I trusted the doctor and took the medication provided. A couple of days later things got worse. I was in so much pain that it took me 45 minutes (no exaggeration) to gain the courage to go to the washroom because the pain was nearly impossible to handle. Now, I like to say I am really tolerant of pain: I have had tattoos and dislocated both my kneecaps falling down a flight of stairs but never have I ever faced such a terrible amount of pain.

A friend of mine came over and together we researched different STI’s online. We came across the description of herpes and thought that that was the closest description to what was happening to me. And so, with this information, I went to the doctors and said “I think I have herpes”. The doctor looked, and said, “Yes”. Right there, I felt like my love life was over. I thought to myself: “HOW COULD THIS BE TRUE? I used protection. I’ve slept with two people in my life. This can’t be true!” But it was true and so I thought, “WHO IS EVER GOING TO WANT TO BE WITH ME? I’m dirty. I’m a slut.” I literally convinced myself that being a “cat lady” was my future and my chances of finding love were slim to none. After dwelling in my own misfortune, I began reading peoples’ stories and different research on herpes and began to realize that my love life was not coming to an end. A large part of the population has STIs. It’s not uncommon. And these people live very normal lives. Yes, there are some challenges but my chances for love are NOT over.

A few months went by and I noticed a small bump in my vaginal area. I thought, “Not another break out” and I went to the doctor’s office; a different doctor than I had seen previous. This is when my life took another turn. When I went in the doctor looked at the spot and said, “This is not herpes. It’s genital warts”. I asked, “So now I have herpes AND genital warts?” In response, the doctor asked me if I had ever been tested for herpes and I thought back to the a few months prior and the answer was “No”. I only suggested to the doctor that it was herpes and the doctor agreed without taking further tests. What a nightmare! So my new doctor had me take all the tests needed. A week or so later, I got a call from my doctor saying he wanted to meet with me. When I sat down with him he explained to me that I was misdiagnosed. There were no traces of herpes in my system, EVER! He proceeded to tell me that I had a high risk strand of HPV (which causes genital warts and can cause cervical cancer). I, again, fell into pieces thinking, “Am I going to die?” It took me a lot less time to pick myself up from this news as I had just faced something similar. With research and talking to professionals and others with the same infection, I realized again, that life wasn’t over. I wasn’t dirty. I wasn’t alone. (In fact 80 percent of women in Canada have HPV at one point in their lives). The more I talked, and listened, the more confident I was in believing my life was in no way ending. 

I have learned a lot from what has happened to me, and I am still learning. What struck me most was the stigmas attached to STIs. I feel silly now looking back on how I reacted. It only takes one person to give you an STI and this isn’t just from sexual intercourse; contact with the area is all it takes. I was so afraid what people would think that I didn’t take care of myself, which I have since learned is most important.

While I definitely promote safe sex I also know that “sh*t happens” and just know you are not alone. You are not dirty. You will find happiness. Just reach out, tell your story, and you will be supported. There are so many great opportunities to reach out. And if you are lucky and never face this, maybe hearing this will stop you from casting judgment on infections that can’t always be prevented. You wouldn’t call someone with a cold a slut so why would you call someone with HPV or gonorrhea, etc. such a terrible name?

By: Kim L.